TECHNIQUES TO INTERRUPT WORRY, IMPROVE SLEEP, RELAX
Most of us worry a great deal about the challenges we face: injury, illness, work, money, our
families’ welfare. There ARE ways to cope with these normal concerns without it taking an even
greater toll on us. Below is an explanation of why we struggle unnecessarily, and techniques
aimed at helping us handle these difficulties more effectively, so that we are freer to problem-
solve the issues we face, and to do it in a calmer, less distressed way.
A REMINDER: We are wired in our brain and body for two important things: (1) to quickly
activate ourselves when we encounter threats (through sympathetic nervous system activity-SNS-
the “fight or flight” reaction), AND (2) to relax, enjoy beauty, digest food, and to sleep well (by
triggering parasympathetic activity-PNS).
THE FIGHT OR FLIGHT REACTION:
When we are threatened, for example by someone chasing us in a parking lot, our SNS kicks in.
The LEFT side of our brain (the LANGUAGE side) says: “I’m in trouble”! Stress hormones and
adrenalin are released because of our understandable fear, and our minds begin to race. Because
of the SNS/“fight or flight” reaction we automatically begin to breathe rapidly so we can get
oxygen to our large leg and arm muscles so that we can run or stand and fight. That is a good
thing when we really need it. But what about when we don’t need it? What if we trigger the
LANGUAGE side of our brain by negatively talking to ourselves inside: “What if I can’t work?”
“I’m a burden to my family”! “Will my child get Covid”? Well when we do that, SNS kicks in,
the “fight or flight” reaction begins, and even though I’m sitting, or lying down in bed thinking
and ruminating, the very same process ramps up. Stress hormones get released, adrenalin pours
into our blood stream, and we get activated as if we were threatened. All of these reactions
(helpful when we need them) begin to cause us even greater fear, a downward cycle of even more
negative thoughts, jitteriness, which leads to anxiety, depressive feelings, anger, and
sleeplessness. And, while our concerns are understandable, even normal, this process of negative
self-talk hurts us. It affects our immune systems, our moods, and our overall health. It can even
worsen physical problems that we already have! So how do you stop this activation process when
we DON’T need it!? There are two ways, explained below.
BELLY BREATHING:
This might sound very simple, even too simple, but it is true. Belly breathing (also called
diaphragmatic breathing) is the one way to turn off SNS and the “fight or flight” reaction when
we don’t need it and instead, trigger PSN activity. Once we BELLY BREATHE, PSN and the
RIGHT side of our brain are activated instead. This can lead to a quieting of the LEFT/language
side of our brains and SNS, and instead lead to deep physical and emotional relaxation,
exceptional focus, and even to sounder sleep. In fact, science says that we should be belly
breathing 24 hours a day to keep ourselves in a calm state even when there are stresses in our
lives. So, how do we do it? What are the techniques?
BELLY BREATHING TECHNIQUES (DIAPHRAGMATIC BREATHING)
The FIRST technique: Begin by lying down on your bed on your back, or reclining a bit in a
chair. Place and hold a book on your belly, your stomach. In a comfortable rhythm, a tempo just
right for you, begin to breathe slowly and deeply, but as you do, see that the book RISES up and
down. With each deep belly breath, on inhalation, allow the air to bypass your chest and go right
down into your belly. Allow the muscles of your belly to relax as you exhale all the way to the
end of your breath. Then allow the in-breath inhalation to start down in your stomach. Perhaps
even gently push the stomach muscles out as you start the in-breath. As you breath in deeply the
belly will fill up till there’s no more room. If you keep breathing in then the chest will then fill as
well. That’s fine, as long as the belly fills first! PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! Let
someone in your family watch as you practice so that they see the book or your stomach rise on
each inhalation. That is the hard part: belly breathing! What is funny is that belly breathing is
difficult for adults to learn because we’ve never been taught it. So, don’t get frustrated even if it
takes a while to master! Don’t begin to say to yourself “I can’t get it! I’ll never get it”! Because
that negative inner talk only triggers SNS, which is what we want to interrupt in the first place!
Be kind to yourself. You are learning a new skill. Have patience!
Once you feel comfortable belly breathing (which has triggered the RIGHT side of your brain and
the PNS) then here is the SECOND part of the technique. Select a focus of your attention. It can
be simply listening to the sound of your breathing; it can be focusing on and repeating a
comforting word (like “peace”); it could be focusing on feelings of love for someone you care
about; it might be a pleasant picture in your mind; it could be anchoring your mind on your
spiritual beliefs; it could be concentrating on a waterfall of relaxation that spreads through your
body with each exhalation. But as you belly breathe anchor your mind on that focus you’ve
chosen and just enjoy the pleasant feeling you experience coming from your belly breathing
repeating itself over and over, while at the same time anchoring your mind on your chosen focus,
over and over again.
As you practice your mind will wonder, as all of our minds do. Perhaps you’ll hear noises that
interrupt your concentration. It happens to us all. Just notice this, and without judgment, and
being gentle with yourself, just say “Ah, there I go again; I’m glad I caught myself.” And then just
kindly return yourself to your belly breathing and to your anchor. Your anchor/focus can change
each day if you choose, or stay the same. It is up to you. But, that is all it takes!!!
It is best to start your day and end your day by practicing even just 5 or 10 minutes, particularly
when you are NOT stressed: just sitting, focusing, and belly breathing calmly. Because if you
practice when you are NOT stressed, then when you ARE stressed during the day, you can more
quickly interrupt negative self-talk thoughts of “Oh, I’m so stupid; why did I do that”!? Things
like that. It is also very good to practice in the middle of the night if you should awaken and start
thinking, which as you know now triggers the LANGUAGE side of your brain, the SNS. Instead,
just turn your mental focus to your belly breathing, anchor your mind on your chosen focus, and
do it until you fall back to sleep.
THE MORE YOU PRACTICE THE BETTER YOU WILL FEEL!!!
